WISE is wishing a very happy Father's Day to all of the dads and father figures out there!
What does Father’s Day mean to you, and how do you usually celebrate it?
Father’s Day is a time when we try to just focus on spending time together. Historically, we would try to plan activities around the holiday. During the pandemic, we just slowed down and became more intentional about the time. Our household has grown. I have three daughters, 18, 16, and 12 years old, and we are currently hosting a young immigrant woman in our home. We also try to do a split Father’s Day weekend where one day is focused on me and my immediate family, and the other is spent with both my father and my wife’s father. Instead of trying to juggle activities, we focus on the time together.
How has becoming a father changed your perspective on work/life balance?
I have always enjoyed my work. And, I was a tinkerer. I would come home and start on a project without thinking about the time. I think the change was the recognition that I have to limit how much time I spend “enjoying my work” now. Suddenly, traveling became more of a chore. I’d leave for a week and milestones would happen while I was gone. As a parent, you have to draw boundaries. I want to spend time seeing my kids grow up.
Also, I took leave when my kids were born, before there was paternity leave. I’m so glad I took that time when the kids were brand new; time passes so quickly. At the time, I could recognize some confused or skeptical looks from co-workers. I’m glad that’s become more normalized. The leave time changed my perspective on women in the workplace. I probably didn’t appreciate the challenges around maternity leave and the perception around it. It’s not easy balancing work and life. Sometimes, I have a weird schedule. I’ll leave work for a PTA event or a school concert or play, but after hours I’ll log on and work at home. I’m very glad that I have the flexibility to be an active parent.
Have you faced any unexpected challenges as a working parent in your career?
When I do things like leave mid-day for a school event, it’s not so much the overt response from peers, but I think there is some “why is he leaving?” thoughts from peers. You still feel that there’s judgment when you take time to prioritize family during the weekday. The pandemic did teach everyone a little bit more about work-life balance. What’s surprising is the number of skills you learn raising kids that are relatable to being a manager, some of the soft skills, prioritization of time, de-escalating the situation, having more empathy, etc.
What motivated you to get involved with WISE and support its mission?
First, I’ve had a lot of direct managers and mentors who coached me that were women. And, they had strong mentors who helped them get where they are. Many of the best leaders I’ve worked with and for are women. Involvement with WISE is an opportunity to give back. There still isn’t a level playing field in the workplace. I want to be a part of something that levels that playing field. Secondly, being a dad changes your perspective. While gender balance is better than even 20 years ago, there are still challenges. You can still see “boys club” behavior. People aren’t realizing some of their behavior isn’t promoting inclusion. I want to continue trying to make the world a bit better for my kids. And third, I value service in general. I saw what WISE was doing in the industry and aligned with the mission. I’ve done school board service and community volunteering, but this has been my first chance to volunteer in a professional environment.
What advice do you give other men about being effective allies?
Just as people help you out in your career, help others. There shouldn’t be a gender line cut across that; everyone deserves help. When you see an opportunity where someone is excluded, make a seat at the table. A lot of the work is just trying to deal with your own prejudice and biases. I started out in the automotive industry which is about 80% men. We had to make an effort to include women. It’s important to create a safe place for everyone to have a voice even if recognizing minorities in the room may be uncomfortable.
It’s also important to lean into sponsorship. Recognize colleagues who are sponsoring employees and ask them if they are sponsoring people who are different than themselves. You need to mirror the demographics of the workplace and the community. It’s easy to fall into a comfort zone. You won’t learn as much when you are mentoring people just like you.
I also think that calling out bad behavior is crucial. I know it can be uncomfortable, but saying “that’s not right” is key. I’m often surprised that many people don’t have basic training on what you can/cannot say. When I was younger, it was really uncomfortable to acknowledge bad behavior. Now, I feel safe calling out those things. As a manager, you can empower less-senior peers to feel comfortable calling things out as well by modeling that behavior.
And, if for no other reason, I ask men to look at the demographics of the labor market. If you don’t make your place comfortable for women to work and succeed, you won’t succeed. If you can’t do it for the right reasons, promote diversity for the selfish reason of your business succeeding, recruiting and retaining talent and winning in the business environment.
How do you hope to see WISE—and allyship—continue to grow in the next few years?
We’ve heard so much about people who’ve come into the private label industry, and there’s a learning curve. I’d love to see WISE offer a professional development course like a private label 101. I’m optimistic that we’ll get that across the finish line. I also want to see us weather the current storm over DEI. The term has become a taboo, but the underlying concepts are vital to both individual success and company success. An inclusive organization is a powerful thing. It leads to better outcomes.